One Date From Hell
by Hi Im Crazy
Summary: [One-shot sequel to “What Happened?”] Before they know it, Lily and James find themselves on their first date. Will it be a nice, romantic little outing, or a straight out disaster?


**Summary:** [One-shot sequel to "What Happened?"] Before they know it, Lily and James find themselves on their first date. Will it be a nice, romantic little outing, or a straight out disaster?  
  
**Disclaimer:** I own a few people: Julia, Alex, Helen, Sally, Samantha, and Tracy. Hmm. I also own "Lady Roful's Caf". Everyone/thing else belongs to J.K.  
  
**One Date From Hell**  
  
----- _During "What Happened?"_ -----  
  
Lily smiled. "I guess you should know how I feel," she said with a shrug. James smiled again and even blushed a bit.  
  
"How DO you feel?"  
  
"Erm... I think you're an awesome person and a great friend," she responded. This wasn't what James was hoping to hear, but he beamed at her anyway. He took her hand and kissed it.  
  
"Thank you, ma belle fleur," he said as he stood up. He turned to walk about the library but:  
  
"Wait! James, one more thing!" he heard Lily calling. He turned around and the first thing he felt was Lily's lips on his.  
  
-----  
  
James gasped at Lily continued to kiss him. His eyes were wide open, staring at Lily's closed ones. After what seemed like eternity, James came to his senses, and kissed her back.  
  
-----  
  
"That's so cute!" Julia squealed from her bed. Alex nodded in agreement.  
  
"Nice job, Lily."  
  
Lily smiled after just telling her two best friends about how she had kissed James Potter. She sighed as she remembered the look on his face when she pulled away: pure bliss.  
  
"Right, so you too are going to Hogsmede together?"  
  
Lily as snapped back to reality, the stupid, dreamy smile of her face disappeared. "Repeat that? Oh, yeah we are going together."  
  
"Well, since it's vacation, the trips are more often, right? So when's the next one?"  
  
"A couple of days," Lily responded absentmindedly.  
  
"Ah," Julia said, nodding. "It's close. You're ready?" Lily nodded, still in her little world.  
  
"Earth to Lily!" Alex said. "Do you read me, Lily?"  
  
Julia jumped up and frantically waved her hand in front of Lily's face. "Lily! Lily! Amos still wants to be your boyfriend, Lils!"  
  
At that statement, Lily jumped as yelped. She looked around to see Alex and Julia giggling. She scowled at them.  
  
"That's _not_ funny, you guys."  
  
"Yeah it is," Alex said as she calmed down.  
  
"HI, YOU GUYS!"  
  
Lily, Julia, and Alex groaned simultaneously as Helen burst into the dormitory, rambling on about how she almost kissed Remus and Sirius.  
  
-----  
  
"Lily!"  
  
Lily turned around and spotted James rushing toward her from down the corridor. She beamed at him.  
  
"Hi, James!"  
  
As James reached her, he bent down and kissed her on the cheek. He cleared his throat as he straightened up. "So... how about Lady Roful's Café on Monday?"  
  
Lily shrugged. "Fine by me." James grinned.  
  
"Great. Uh, I promised Sirius and Remus I'd turn Snape's robes pink with them now. Duty calls."  
  
He gave Lily another kiss and waved at her as he jogged backwards down the hall. He disappeared around the corner a moment later.  
  
-----  
  
Amos Diggory stomped into the library on Sunday evening. He slammed his book down, causing Madam Pince to babble on about the rules of the school library. But Amos wasn't even listening. He was thinking about Lily.  
  
Lily's diary had angered him so much. He expected her to be praising him in every entry. But instead, she was thinking about the perfect place and time to break it off. Amos scowled at the floor. He _needed_ to get back at Lily for breaking up with him... even though he was more than willing to break up at the time.  
  
When Pince was done reciting the rules, Amos grabbed his book and huffed to the back of the library where he sat down. Now that the thought of Lily had entered his mind, he had no intention of reading.  
  
Sally. That was another thing. Sally Walsh had taken Lily's side. That wasn't fair. He was closer to Sally than Lily was. Sure, he and Sally weren't the greatest of friends... but Amos assumed that they were close enough that Sally would take his side in anything. Though, it wasn't like he'd take her side in anything... not that he'd admit that to her anyone else. He always had a feeling that there was something... traitorous about her.  
  
_Well_, he thought to himself, _maybe what I did was really_ that _bad_... He shook his head. _Nah_...  
  
Just then, Amos noticed two people entering his section of the library. The two figures were talking to each other in hushed voices. Amos looked up at the pair and the Hufflepuff boy smiled.  
  
"Hello, Samantha, Tracy."  
  
-----  
  
"Today's the day!" Lily gasped as she stood up the next morning. She had fallen off of her bed a moment earlier in excitement.  
  
Julia let out a grunt as she turned over in her bed. Helen mumbled something in her sleep that sounded an awful lot like "Sirius, I love you too." Samantha was having a sleepover with Tracy ("Thank the lord."), but Alex yawned and stood up.  
  
"Today's the day," she said as she stretched.  
  
"No, Alex, that's _not_ what I just said," Lily joshed.  
  
"Well, SOR-RY," Alex snapped back, playing along.  
  
"I'm going to take a shower," Lily said after a few more minutes of playfully arguing with Alex. Alex nodded and she started to brush her wavy brown hair.  
  
-----  
  
James put on his glasses and everything came into focus. Sirius was still asleep, half off his 4-poster bed, his mouth wide open. He was starting to drool.  
  
"You look very attractive," Remus said sarcastically as he hit Sirius. Sirius let out a loud snore and remained asleep. Remus sighed and hit Sirius again, this time causing him to awake with a start.  
  
"Helen? Where? Ahh! Where?"  
  
James laughed as Sirius's bulging eyes darted around to room. His hair was sticking on end, resembling James's, and there was a piece of parchment stuck to his face.  
  
"Oh, jeez, you guys scared me!" he exclaimed, clutching his chest. "I though Helen was in here!"  
  
"BUT I AM, HONEY!"  
  
Sirius screamed and ran for the bathroom. After he slammed the door, Remus and James laughed.  
  
"Good one, Prongs."  
  
"_REGULAR_," James shrieked in Helen's voice, pointing his wand at his throat. He cleared it.  
  
"I sure scared Sirius, didn't I?" he mused in his normal voice.  
  
-----  
  
"I'm so nervous," Lily admitted as she, Alex, Julia, and Sally headed out of the school.  
  
"Don't worry," Julia said. "You and James always spend time together. This won't be different. Er, well, yeah it will. I mean, for one, you two are going to be _alone _together. You might not know what to say because all your previous conversations were like 'I love you Lily' and 'Sod off, Potter.' Then there's the possibility that you too might accidentally miss each other when you kiss because you'll be sitting across the table from each other. Also-"  
  
"All right, Julia, I get the point," Lily said through gritted teeth. Julia, who hadn't realized she's been rambling, replied with a quick "Sorry."  
  
A few moments later, the four girls were outside Hogsmede. Right on cue, James jumped up to Lily.  
  
"Hey!" he said in a cheery voice. Lily waved at her friends, took his arm, and the two 17 year olds marched into the village.  
  
-----  
  
"So, Lily, what are you doing this summer?'  
  
Lily and James were sitting in the corner of Lady Roful's Café. The café was a bit more crowded than the two had anticipated, but they didn't mind that much.  
  
"Going to Amer-"  
  
"Hello, children!"  
  
Lily and James turned their heads to see where the bubbly voice had come from. A short, plump woman was standing beside their table with a piece of parchment and a quill, beaming at them.  
  
"Err, hi," Lily said uncertainly.  
  
"I'm Lady Roful!" the woman explained. "Are you two on a date?"  
  
"Um, yeah," James said as one eyebrow rose. "Ok... uh, Lily, what do you want?"  
  
"I'll get-"  
  
"Ooh! Deary, your hair!"  
  
Lady Roful leaned forward to Lily and fixed a strand of hair that was out of place. When she straightened back up, the waved a finger at Lily.  
  
"Tsk, tsk! You should always fix your hair right before a date. Especially with a boy as handsome as this one!" Roful squealed as she pinched James's cheeks.  
  
Lily felt her cheeks burning but she forced a smile. "Thank you, Lady Roful."  
  
"Ooh, honey, you can call me Martha," Roful said, waving a hand at Lily. Lily let out a fake cough and cleared her through.  
  
"Right, uh, I'll have the-"  
  
"Mmm, I recommend the... chai latte," Roful said, nodding.  
  
"No, I just want some tea."  
  
"But, honey, the chai is extraordinary !"  
  
"No, just a cup of tea, thanks."  
  
"But-"  
  
"I would like some tea," Lily said through gritted teeth.  
  
"The chai-"  
  
"Fine! I'll take the chai latte!" Lily finally hissed Her face was beet red. She glanced over at James who was staring at Roful with a look of disgust on his face.  
  
"A chai it is, then!" Roful said happily, marking it down on her pad of parchment. She smiled at James. "And you?"  
  
"I'll have a chai too, then," he said.  
  
"Okie dokie!" Roful said, marking that down too. Lily blinked at her and then at James, who just shrugged and rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'll be back, children. Don't miss me too much!" Roful said as she walked away.  
  
"Trust me, we won't," Lily hissed at her retreating figure. She then turned to James. "Can you believe that little-"  
  
"EXCUSE ME!"  
  
Lily and James turned their head again to where the wheezy voice was coming from. They saw an elderly man walking towards them slowly. He had black sunglasses on and was waving a stick in from of him.  
  
"EXCUSE ME!"  
  
Lily and James exchanged glances as the man continued his way to their table. Soon enough, the wooden stick he was waving was sitting the table.  
  
"So sorry," the old man muttered. "Am I hitting anything? I can't see... lost my sight in World War II... I was fighting with the Muggles!"  
  
"That's... nice," Lily said, not sure of what to say.  
  
"Ow!" James hissed, looking at his leg. Lily glanced under the table and saw that the man's stick was whacking James.  
  
"Excuse me, sir-"  
  
The man turned to Lily. "Why, hello young lady! What's your name?"  
  
"Lily. Um, you're kind of hitting my-"  
  
"Nice to meet you, Lily," he responded, cutting Lily off. He extended a hand, which Lily took and shook shortly.  
  
"My name is Richard, by the way," he continued. "Would you like to hear about World War II?"  
  
"Um, Mister Richard, maybe later, you're whacking James."  
  
"James?" Richard asked, furrowing his brow. "What's a James?"  
  
"_He_'s my boyfriend," Lily said. James could tell she was starting to loose her patience.  
  
"Oh, you have a boyfriend? Well that's too bad... because I'm single," Richard said to her. Lily could see him wiggling his eyebrows. James turned to his girlfriend. She had a look on her face that was a mix of disgust and horror.  
  
Richard walked over to her and started waving his stick again. "I need... someplace to sit..."  
  
To Lily's surprise and disgust, Richard started to get onto her lap. She jumped up in surprise and defense, knocking him over.  
  
"Whoa...!"  
  
Lily gasped as he hit the floor. She rushed over to him and bent down.  
  
"Richard! Are you all right?"  
  
"Of course," he replied in his wheezy voice. Lily helped him to his feet and he let out a whistle.  
  
"You should be more careful next time," he said to her. He glanced up. "You're quite pretty, you know."  
  
"H-how do you know?" Lily said in a bewildered voice. "You said you were blind."  
  
The smile slipped off of Richard's face. "Uh, I need to leave." He walked quickly for an old man as he headed to the door. His walking stick was still on the floor. Lily turned back to James.  
  
"That was... strange..."  
  
"To say the least!" James laughed. Lily frowned at him.  
  
"Hello!"  
  
Lily and James groaned as Roful returned with the drinks. She walked over to them and as she was about to place the drinks down, she tripped over Richard's stick.  
  
"Oh my!" she exclaimed after she grabbed the table to balance herself. "I'll get you two some new drinks. Now... what did you have my dear?"  
  
"Chai latte," Lily responded. Roful shook her head.  
  
"No, I think you had a coffee."  
  
Lily took a deep breath. "No... I had a chai."  
  
"No, I'm pretty sure it was a coffee, dear."  
  
"It was a chai latte."  
  
"Coffee!"  
  
"You know what?" Lily yelled as she stood up. Roful took a step back, clearly intimidateed by Lily, who was a couple of inches taller than her and was red with fury.  
  
"A-are you g-going to t-threaten me?"  
  
"You bet your arse I-"  
  
"Time to go, Lily!" James suddenly yelped. He grabbed Lily's forearm and pulled her out of the café.  
  
"What was _with_ her?" Lily screamed as she door closed behind her. James shrugged.  
  
"Yeah, she sure was messed up. Glad we got out of there. And the Richard guy!"  
  
Lily gasped. "I know! He was hitting on me!"  
  
James laughed at the memory and Lily smacked him upside the head.  
  
"Come on," James said, putting an arm around Lily's shoulder. "Let's go and talk somewhere."  
  
So Lily and James sat on a bench and talked for the next half hour. After their long conversation, Lily rested her head on James's shoulder. James pulled her closer to him. She looked up and smiled. James took her face in his hands and brought it up to his. They were just about to kiss when...  
  
"Non!"  
  
James and Lily found their heads snapping away from each other to see the source of a voice. A young woman with long black hair was walking towards them, her face red with fury.  
  
"Non! Non! Non!"  
  
"What's wrong, Miss?" Lily asked. The woman stopped in front of them, crossed her arms over her chest and tapped her foot impatiently.  
  
"Non! Zere iz to be no kissing in public! Zere are many children and adolts 'ere zat do not wish to see zis... zis... public display uf affection!"  
  
"Erm, we're really sorry, Miss," James said. "But we are allowed to do whatever we want."  
  
"Vous enfants stupides! Vous êtes trop jeune! Non!"  
  
"What?" Lily asked. "I don't speak French." She turned to James. "You know French... you said something to me in the library."  
  
"Oh, ma belle fleur?" James laughed nervously. "Yeah, that's about all the French I know... Remus taught it to me... to use as a pick-up line... heh..."  
  
"Aucuns baisers!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Mon Dieu. Enfants de nos jours..."  
  
And with that, the lady huffed away, leaving Lily and James staring blankly after her.  
  
-----  
  
"Well, that date sure was interesting," James sighed as he and Lily entered the school later that day. Lily nodded in agreement. Just then, three fellow 7th years walked into the school too, laughing.  
  
"And did you see her face? Ha! I can't believe she got that mad! And over a drink!" one of the girls laughed.  
  
"You were great at that. How was I?" the boy asked eagerly.  
  
The second girl sighed. "Okay... you shouldn't have said she was pretty. You kind of blew it there. Though, leaving the stick for Tracy to trip on was genius."

"And Samantha! You as the French woman!"  
  
Lily gasped and turned to James, who had a look of shock on his face too. The three kids looked up and gluped.  
  
"So it was you guys," James asked in a nonchalant tone. "I should've guessed."  
  
Samantha, Tracy, and Amos glanced at each other. Amos spoke up first. "I needed to get back at you, Evans."  
  
Lily glared daggers at him and her hand involuntarily moved to her robes, where her wand was.  
  
"Same with you, Potter," Tracy snapped.  
  
"I just wanted to see your faces," Samantha shrugged.  
  
James looked at Lily and the latter nodded.  
  
"_Fringolious_!"  
  
"_Rawt_!"  
  
Before the three unarmed teenagers knew it, they were in the hospital wing with warts on their faces and rashes everywhere else.  
  
-----  
  
"Goodnight, James," Lily whispered.  
  
"Night, Lils."  
  
James kissed Lily lightly on the head and headed up to his dormitory. When Lily went up, she smiled to herself and fell asleep quickly...  
  
-----  
  
_Lily walked through a dark corridor. She found herself being pulled to the end. There was a door there that was opened a bit. A sliver of light poured out of it.  
  
Lily looked down at her attire. She was barefoot and was wearing a soft, silky dress that came down a bit past her knees. It was sleeveless and was a light blue color. Her hair wasn't up in the usual messy bun, but was flowing down her back.  
  
She kept walking until she came to the door. She opened it and the light filled the hallway in back of her. She stepped through the door and found herself in a garden. She heard a noise to her right and turned to see where it was.  
  
This is where she had woken up before. But this time... she kept dreaming.  
  
There was a man. He was tall and slim with messy jet-black hair. Lily recognized that messy jet-black hair...  
  
James turned around and smiled at Lily. She grinned back and ran up to him. He took her in his arms and spun her around and around..._  
  
Lily woke with a start. She glanced out of the window. It was still dark out. She closed her eyes again and smiled. It was James. It would all work out. She knew it.  
  
Even if the first date was a disaster, she knew the second would be great. And then the third, and the fourth, and the fifth...  
  
----- Woo! Yeah! I wrote this all in one shot! That would explain the low quality of it. It's very late. Lalala, the French translations:  
  
Non! = No!  
  
Vous enfants stupides! Vous êtes trop jeune! Non = You stupid children! You are too young! No!  
  
Aucuns baisers! = No kisses!  
  
Mon Dieu. Enfants de nos jours... = My God. Children nowdays...

Sorry for any French mistakes. I got the translations off of the Google language tools, so if you speak fluent French, PLEASE correct me! I take espanol in school, so I know no French what-so-ever. Thanks!

Uh, yeah. You know the drill... **REVIEW**! 


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